Discussion Guide

About the Book

Molly and her best friend Nicole are thrilled to join a gifted program together in fifth grade. But when school starts, Nicole drifts toward a new group of girls, and Molly finds herself pushed out — labeled an outsider for not having the right clothes or the right things to say. Of Butterflies and Bullies follows Molly through that unraveling friendship and the class divide it exposes, as she learns to find her own strength.

Before You Read: A Question for Both of You

Think of a friendship that changed or ended when you were young. What do you remember feeling most?

Discussion Questions for Daughters

1. What do you think Molly is feeling on the first day when Nicole starts hanging out with the new girls?

2. Have you ever felt like you had to change something about yourself to fit in? What was that like?

3. Molly notices differences between herself and the "rich girls." Why do you think those differences mattered so much at school?

4. What would you have done if you were Molly's friend and saw what was happening to her?

5. What does Molly do that shows she's finding her own strength?

6. If you could give Molly one piece of advice, what would it be?

Discussion Questions for Mothers

1. Did anything in Molly's story remind you of your own childhood friendships?

2. How did you handle a friendship breakup or exclusion when you were your daughter's age — and did anyone help you through it?

3. What do you notice about how girls exclude each other differently than boys often do?

4. What's one thing you wish you'd known at ten that you know now?

5. How do you want your daughter to come to you if something like this happens to her?

Questions to Discuss Together

1. What does it mean to be a real friend versus a "frenemy"?

2. Where does Molly find her strength — and where do you find yours?

3. What's one thing from Molly's story you want to remember together?

Activity Ideas

• Journal together: Each of you write a short letter to your ten-year-old self about a friendship that was hard. Share as much or as little as you'd like.

• Make a "strength list": Write down qualities that make someone a good friend, and check which ones you both already have.

• Talk about today's version: Ask your daughter how being left out looks now — texts, group chats, social media — versus how it looked for you.

Closing Thought for the Group

Of Butterflies and Bullies is for every girl who's ever felt pushed out — and every woman who remembers being her. The hope is that reading it together opens a door to the conversations that are hardest to start on your own.